The Family Room Drama
Ruchira Darda
We are so close to children’s day. A day dedicated to celebrating our young and remembering the fondness Jawaharlal Nehru had for children. There will be some celebrations in all schools, some song and dance, a sugary treat and then the next day we will be back to routine.
It's great that we have a day when there are no studies in school, just a lot of play. But do we really care for our young?
I sometimes doubt it.
We expect our children to be at school for seven hours under the authority of teachers and seniors and come home to another set agenda and plan. We want our employers to reduce our working hours but believe that children should be productive for seven hours of school plus five hours at home. Once children are home, they go on to jump from class to class all the while being expected to be at their highest efficiency. If not, then parents receive calls from tutors that they are distracted, or we complain of them being cranky and un-cooperating.
Besides this, when children share their genuine feelings or reactions, we instantly correct them. I noticed a mother forced feed her child when the child kept saying it was full. What the mother did was satisfy her own needs to feed the child two rotis but the child learnt that he cannot trust his own instincts and feelings and overeating is the new normal.
When children share big feelings, we instantly distract them or get annoyed and ask them to shut down. Leaving them lost and confused. Imagine if you were hurt and wanted to cry, wouldn’t you like someone to hold you and be there for you? But with kids, we get tired and ask them to stop.
Everyday, kids' emotions and needs are shut down in the name of growing up, tough love and this is life. We make them run like robots and expect them to comply peacefully.
Do you really think we respect and love our children when we do not even treat them as human? Mistakes are not allowed, human emotions and feelings are a no and we have no patience for their meltdowns.
This children’s day just make one promise to your child, I will listen when you speak, I will be there when you need me, I will understand when you are tired, I want you to have a good life that is made of moments of laughter and real emotions, with time to play and do nothing. If you can do this, then everyday will be a special day.
I do hope it is a Happy children’s day this year.