Ruchira Darda
Have you ever thought about your last hour? I have been thinking about it a lot recently. What it will be like, how I want it to be. People spend their life manifesting money, health, success amongst other things but I find myself manifesting my entire life.
I envision my two children well-settled with partners who bring them joy and love, I see Mr K and myself as a happy part of their families, contributing and nurturing. I see my last hour as an independent woman, who will say her goodbyes and silently pass. Leaving my legacy of being a good person.
Knowing this makes me conscious of who I am today. What I need to do for my tomorrow to be my way. This is contradictory to the idea of the now. People say don’t worry about tomorrow, live in the present, live in the now. I am leaning towards the other school of thought.
I see my grandmother struggle. She struggles to say what she wants, she struggles to do what she needs to. She lies in her bed helpless, at the mercy of her caretakers, to understand what she needs and to do what she desires. Once a figure that was symbolic of power for us, just lies there, waiting.
I know she couldn’t have done anything differently, her destiny was defined by her physical limitations. Her suffering is teaching me a lot. And, so is her will to fight. She has not just given up on herself. While the whole world tells her how to be, she stays true to her needs. She fights for herself, even if she can’t like you and me. That’s how she prepared herself for her final hour. She spent her life learning to be her own person. Hence, even with the physical struggle of today, she is not a nobody… she is still my grandmother who runs the show.
So yes, as a young lady, with my whole life ahead of me, I still think I need to work toward the end of my life. I need to use my today as a stepping stone for my tomorrow. Cause, we really don’t know when the sand runs out.
Author Contact: ruchira.darda@gmail.com
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