Chennai, May 12 Actress Vijayalakshmi, who is also the daughter of National Award winning director Agathiyan, has now penned an emotional tribute to her mom, in which she has disclosed the only thing that she regrets in her life.
On the occasion of Mother's Day, Vijayalakshmi took to her Instagram page to pen a moving tribute to her mother.
She wrote, "My Mom was a GOAT. One morning, that teenage girl woke up and decided to change her name from Ramuthavee to Radha. Said the name sounded outdated. A rebellious soul who broke boundaries. She wanted to become an IAS officer. After her MA degree, she prepped hard and wrote the exam, but didn't do well in her General Knowledge paper. Boom. Life took α turn."
Pointing out that her mother was the firstborn in a middle class police family, Vijayalakshmi said,"Big sister to six siblings. Had her own room while the rest slept together. Treated like a queen. My father then came. She fell for a man with wild cinema dreams. Her family didn't approve. She eloped. That's what rebels do."
Stating that her father treated her mother like a queen too, Vijayalakshmis said, "But then, life happened. After three daughters and years of struggle, she was forced to forget who she was. While Appa kept knocking on iron doors in the film world, Amma became everything. Salesgirl, kindergarden teacher, hustler, provider. Caught in the vortex, their marriage wasn't easy either. Amma was enigmatic in our childhood. For months, she'd be on edge. Shouting, irritated, like a storm walking. We hated that phase."
She then said, "Then came what we three kids secretly called 'Amma good mummy aagitanga.' She would go silent. No yelling, no shoutings. Just quiet. She wouldn't step out of the house or meet anyone. Even if we break something, she would silently clean it. Without even looking up. We loved her like that."
"But now I know that silence wasn't peace. That silence was bipolar depression. What we celebrated as calm was actually her soul locking itself in," the actress disclosed.
"My 'I don't care about grammar' came from her. She was a hippie. Wild. And flowing. She wasn't ready for motherhood or for being the wife of a struggling AD. Yet she coped. She buried her wild energy and wore the mask," the actress said and added, "I'm regretless in life, except for one thing."
"Now, I'm filled with abundance. I heal people with my positivity. I counsel strangers in my DMs. I hold space for others. I listen. I comfort. But I couldn't heal her," she rued and said, "She battled alone. And died with questions. If I had been a little older, a little more aware, I might've helped her. Might've hugged her tight. I wouldn't have celebrated her painful silence."
The actress said that she didn't pray to her mother, asking for things. "I just manifest her somewhere in la la land, under a golden sunset, messy haired, singing loud and dancing wild. I've stopped calling her 'Mom'. Now, I call her Hippie girl. That girl did her best in this world. Probably, kicking ass as an IAS (hippie) officer in a parallel world. Happy Mother's Day, my hippie girl. The world broke you. But I see every piece and guess what... I love them all," she wrote.
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