Washington, DC [US], December 22 : Alec Baldwin has opened up about experiencing suicidal thoughts after charges were filed a second time in connection with the fatal shooting on the set of his film 'Rust', according to The Hollywood Reporter.
Speaking on the podcast, hosted by Dave Manheim, Baldwin described the emotional toll of the case, which involved the death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins in 2021. He said the case, which was ultimately dismissed, left him in a severely distressed mental state.
"The people I was most concerned about, the people that I had the deepest pain for, were my wife and my kids," Baldwin said. "Because my kids would see me sitting in a corner, you know, I couldn't even move." He added that he spent a year taking daily naps due to his mental state.
Baldwin described the ordeal as physically, spiritually, and financially draining. "And I don't want to dwell on this, I just want to say that this was very painful for my wife and my family, my sisters and brothers and so forth, my colleagues. ... And I can tell you, it broke every nerve in my body, spiritually, financially ... work-wise, my career, my wife, my kids, my friends, my health. I mean what it's done to my health. I mean, if I told you what my health conditions have been since October 21st of 2021 ... it's taken 10 years off my life. It's taken at least 10 years off my life," he added, noting the date of the fatal shooting, as per The Hollywood Reporter.
He credited his wife, Hilaria, and family for helping him navigate the darkest moments, saying, "When you get to that point where you go, 'I don't want to wake up another day, I'm gonna go' I swear to God, I mean, to talk about it, and it's really kind of unappealing to me because to talk about killing yourself and to actually kill yourself are two so profoundly distinctive things. I think a lot of people, I think countless people think about killing themselves and ending their life, and then very few do. And for me, I remember, I used to lay there in bed and go, 'Oh God, I can't wake up another day and have it be the same. It's the same every day. And I can't do it.' And but somehow I found the faith in God to, you know, not kill myself tomorrow. Let's wait one more day."
Baldwin also expressed frustration with the New Mexico prosecutors, claiming the production had followed Hollywood guild regulations, but the prosecutors applied different rules after the fact. "No one came to me in the first week we were handling firearms ... it was after the fact. All the rules were changed after the fact, and that was very scary to me," he said. He further alleged that the prosecutors "wanted to get their names in the paper," but praised the judge who called out their actions as "reprehensible," as per The Hollywood Reporter.
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