Los Angeles, Aug 18 Blink-182 bassist Mark Hoppus, who was declared cancer-free in September last year, had contemplated suicide after his lymphoma cancer diagnosis sent him into depression.
In a new interview with PEOPLE, the 50-year-old rocker recalled one time when he was "in the living room crying" after his diagnosis, reports aceshowbiz.com.
At that time, he told his wife Skye: "I don't know if I can do this."
He continued: "She was like, 'Well, what are you going to do, kill yourself?' And that's exactly what I was thinking. It was pretty dark."
Later on, Hoppus credited his wife's forthrightness for helping him "snap out" of his depression.
"I was like, 'What a s**tty thing to say.' But also, what a kind thing to say, like, 'Snap out of it, you f**king baby," he said he pondered after his 50-year-old spouse confronted him.
"You have a beatable form of cancer. It's going to suck to get there, but get there," he quoted his wife, adding, "I had to do the work."
Hoppus also told the outlet that undergoing chemotherapy was "brutal" and gave him a host of symptoms.
"I had no energy and ended up being on the couch just trying to get through the day," he said.
"I had the worst brain fog."
The 'First Date' rocker added: "We were sitting at dinner with friends that we've known for years, and I'm looking at the husband across the table, thinking to myself, 'I can't remember your first name.' And it was like that all the time. I still feel it once every couple days, I'll forget a word, but it's much better."
Hoppus also opened up about how he came to learn he was battling cancer in the first place.
"I texted my doctor, 'Hey, weird lump on my shoulder. It's either a pulled muscle or a deadly lymphoma,' " he recalled.
"I was trying to make a joke out of it."
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