Mumbai, Aug 26 Veteran Bollywood actress Shefali Shah, who has taken a spontaneous holiday, has reflected on the guilt of taking a solo vacation, questioning why spending on oneself feels selfish when doing the same for others seems justified.
Shefali took to Instagram, where she shared a carousel of images from her beachy holiday. The pictures featured glimpses of the picturesque locale and the food she gorged on.
She wrote: “I took another spontaneous holiday. I think I’m making up for all those trips I fantasised about after I saw Dil Chahta Hai. There’s no reason and yet there seemed ample reason to do it. A long weekend, kids out with friends, husband working, and me twiddling my thumbs.”
“As soon as all the logistics for this trip seemed to fall in place, guilt kicked in. And so did the questions that follow. So much money wasted for a solo trip just for 3 days. Is it necessary? If all were going it still made sense, but alone kya hai? But the persistent, ever-questioning, progressive, today’s independent woman in me reasoned…”
“When we plan a trip for a loved one, or choose a gift, or pick a restaurant, it all seems justified na?!
Showering time, effort and money seems absolutely valid and worth it when spent on others.”
She said that she loves doing stuff for her family.
“But somehow, when it comes to us, we become stingy. I love doing stuff for my family and I’m the happiest when they are happy. But sadly, I don’t even feature as a far-off cousin in my own family tree (for myself),” she added.
Shefali says she often sidelines her own desires.
“Of course, I want to enjoy these perks, but as a Stepney, a third wheel, not taking the onus of my own choice. And I wonder—is it probably because somewhere within I don’t feel I’m worth it?
And mind you, this phenomenon isn’t just restricted to women, many men too do exactly the same. Putting their family above themselves—my dad and husband being an ideal example,” she said.
The actress added: But why is it supposed to be EITHER/OR? EITHER you do it for others OR you do it for yourselves? Why can’t that ‘OR’ be changed to ‘AND’?”
The actress says she is “lucky” she has the “financial freedom to choose my joy and follow it through (as far as it doesn’t constitute a criminal offence).”
“But I question it each time because sadly, I don’t think I owe it to myself. Not all small joys need to be tarnished with a selfish tag. If I can give to others, then why can’t I wish and give to myself? Self-indulgence doesn’t always have to be burdened with guilt. Because sometimes, when you put everyone first, you don’t even come last.”
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