Ruchira Darda
The most horrific experience for a spouse is to see their partner in pain. You might be the one getting constantly annoyed at each other for simple small things but you are also the one who can't let even a tiny needle hurt them. I had to watch my husband, Mr K battle dengue this week. My always ‘Macho Man’ was lying moaning in pain, too exhausted to even ask for help. Our rescuer and protector reduced to a whimpering child by a mosquito bite.
To most people reading this, you might wonder why this warrants an article. But my question is slightly different, do you still remember how to care for an ailing person, and are you able to provide love and support? Do the children need to see their parents in pain?
I believe they should. We try so hard to protect our children from the reality of life that they grow up to become individuals who ask and expect but don't know how to reciprocate. Simply because they never had to give. They grow up seeing their parents take care of everything that in a time of crisis they don't know how to react and act. Hence, I feel our kids need to be part of our highs and our lows so they grow up to become empathetic, kind and caring adults. Adults who understand, when someone is in pain they need your quiet presence. Adults who believe serving a loved one is more important than worldly commitments. Adults who can use their mind and body to help.
While we think of being brave and keeping our loved ones away from our troubles, we have saved them from worry. I believe we also deprive them of the ability to practice care. We are living in the times where a WhatsApp message is equivalent to us expressing our concern, but do we realise that the person who needs your aid may not be in a state to ask for it. To say ‘hey I need you to take me to the hospital or I need a glass of juice.’ We all need to step up our care game, for our fast forward life will soon make us forget we need to put everything aside and be available when a friend, family member or a loved one looks not okay.
Life is what happens in the moments when we step aside from what we think is important and be present to the one who is the most important.