The 'Real Housewives of Orange Country' star Meghan King Edmonds recently revealed that she sometimes feels like two different mothers as she raises twins Hart and Hayes Edmonds.
"I feel like I have an angel and a devil on my shoulder when looking at the other child through my mom lens," Edmonds wrote in a blog post on Monday, admitting that her thoughts can be "shameful."
The 34-year-old actress, who revealed that 15-month-old Hart has irreversible brain damage, described how she talks about her sons' achievements differently.
"I make excuses for Hart while I laugh jokingly about Hayes," she said. "And I do all of this unconsciously and with so much love for both of them. I honestly didn't consider the glaring differences in description until this moment. I'm not imparting lessons, just reflection."
She further wrote that she struggles to relate with mothers who have normal kids, but also understands why they may lack empathy because she does, too -- at times.
"These moms don't even know what I've sacrificed by doing research and being Hart's advocate, and they know they couldn't do it, either," she said. "It takes a special person and I AM that person, damn it! But I don't want to be that person."
When she first revealed about her son to Page six, she said, the diagnosis came as a "relief" and "vindication" in some way.
"I really wanted nothing more than to just be a crazy hypochondriac mother, but I knew I wasn't," she said. "Because of that diagnosis, I got him into all these therapies."
In summers, Meghan and Hart had spent three weeks in an intensive therapy program in California, where Hart stood by himself for the very first time.
( With inputs from ANI )