Fear, Fright, & the Art of Being Fearless

Fear is a part of everyone’s life; it is also a part of diplomacy. But it is equally true that there is no weapon greater than fearlessness!

Today’s column emerges from philosophical reflection. I often study philosophy and have turned into something of a philosopher at heart! So, indulge me as I discuss something that permeates our lives and yet rarely receives the scrutiny it deserves: The origin of fear within us. Just look at what’s happening right now: Elections have just concluded in Bihar, and local body elections have been announced in Maharashtra. In both places, there were and are politicians whose hearts were and are filled with the fear of defeat!

There are countless types of fear. Some fear not knowing English at school; others fear mathematics! Someone fears getting hurt; yet others fear the uncertainties of tomorrow! Some fear losing something; while others fear gaining something only to lose it later! If you spare time to think about it, you will find that the first lesson of fear is taught to us at home. “Don’t go near the water, stay away from fire, don’t climb trees, don’t wrestle lest you break your bones, play cricket properly or the ball might hit you! Don’t do this, don’t do that!” Parents give so many warnings that an unknown fear slowly seeps into the child.
There can be no hesitation in saying that fear begins at home. Fear planted in our childhood stays with us from youth until our last breath. And it is the same fear that we pass on to the next generation. This cycle goes on continuously. Our social life remains overshadowed by fear. In fact, we do not fear only loss; we also fear victory — that it might be snatched away from us! Such is the situation that everyone keeps terrorising one another. Even husband and wife do not refrain from scaring each other.

Abroad, I see parents teaching a two-year-old child to swim by fearlessly throwing the child into the swimming pool. Does this happen here? No, because we ourselves are scared. Those children abroad learn fearlessness from childhood, which is why they confidently wander alone through forests and mountains.

They become adventurous. Whether it be the determination to conquer Mount Everest or the courage to dive into the sea, children who learn fearlessness from a young age always stay ahead. Here too, in earlier times, sages and saints used to go into dense forests and mountain caves to meditate because they were fearless. But today, fearlessness is fading! If we want to make our country strong, we must become fearless and disciplined.

When I think of my childhood, I vividly remember a scene from 1960–62: In Yavatmal, when the then ‘thanedar’ Jung Bahadur Singh would step out wearing half-pants, a slanted cap, with a baton in his hand; absolute silence would fall on his appearance. Everybody froze. It felt as if a lion had emerged from the jungle. Does such discipline exist today? Just think — I still remember his name! Today, people cannot even recall the name of the serving SP because they no longer command that kind of authority.

Administrative authority lasts only when there is an element of fear in it besides the respect for the person wielding it. Earlier, when teachers entered the classroom, a sense of fear would spread — but that fear was mixed with respect, because teachers considered every student their own child. If a child was weak in any subject, the teacher would call him/her home and teach them. There was no such thing as “coaching classes” in those days. There was purity in the conduct of teachers. Today, children even smoke cigarettes in front of teachers! Back then, there was no fear that a doctor would exploit you in the name of treatment. Whatever medicine the doctor prescribed was final. Doctors used to be considered part of the extended family.
Similarly, earlier nobody entertained the notion of somebody becoming a Christian if one happened to visit a church. Nobody said, “Son, don’t go to church; if you go, you’ll become Christian!” “Don’t go to the mosque; you’ll turn into a Muslim!” “Don’t go to the temple; you’ll become Hindu!” Unfortunately, such fears are being created today. And when such fears are created, hatred begins to grow. All this feels very frightening. I see that religion has now been linked to fear.

Whether it’s an examination or an election, we make vows for every little thing. Fear has reached a point where people are not only afraid of losing but also afraid of winning - fearing that success might slip away from them. Just think: Dhyan Chand didn’t have shoes, and P T Usha didn’t have resources, yet they performed miracles because they defeated the fear of scarcity with their fearless spirit. ‘Little Master’ Sachin Tendulkar was intimidated by tall bowlers, but Sachin made them run for cover. Our soldiers lay down their lives for the country because they have no fear within them. The training in the army makes them fearless. The first lessons of fearlessness should be taught at home. I find the courage of Saina Nehwal’s mother, Usha Rani, truly inspirational in how she instilled fearlessness in Saina. And think of Gandhi ji’s non-violent fearlessness, which shook the British Empire, an empire on which the sun never set.

Therefore, I want to advise every parent: Do not plant fear in your children! Make them fearless. I always say and follow this principle myself that if you want to achieve your goal, remove fear from within. Conquer fear, conquer all!

The author is the chairman, Editorial Board of Lokmat Media and former member of Rajya Sabha.