Be your child’s ‘Marble Jar Parent’

Here are 5 things to be mindful of when raising a child so that you can be their marble jar parent.

Stick to your promises

Children respect you if you stick to your promises. They trust you because they learn to believe that your commitment and your word have value. If you say one thing and do another, it is very confusing for them, hence they look toward a person who does what they say they would.

Believe you will always be there

Children need to believe you will always be there, no matter what. Your availability and presence is not dependent on your mood or the situation, but on the unconditional belief/trust that in every situation, I can call on my parents and they will turn up. It doesn't mean physically rushing to a spot at every call, but the guarantee that you will understand, take charge, help control a situation and really be their safe place.

Being honest and vulnerable

Do you have it in you to say ‘I don't know the answer to this problem’ or show your fears to your child. Being honest about who you are, your needs and your challenges can be a winner. It takes courage to expose your weaknesses. It takes courage to ask for what you need. It takes courage to actually practice what you are asking your child to do. And if you do this, then yes, your child will know the real you, and we can all trust a real person, can’t we?

Sorry, I got it wrong

Can you apologize if you are the one at fault and accept that you made an error in your judgment? If you can, you will surely win their trust. Because, we don't trust the strongest person with our vulnerabilities, we trust someone we believe can have flaws too, and they are not scared to own up when they make mistakes. We trust people who learn from their mistakes and not those who just make an empty apology and continue to slip on the same slope.

Can you be trusted?

Aah! The big question. Can you? Momma, if I tell you a secret, can you hold on to it? Or do you share it with your spouse instantly? Or as a father, do you call their secret dumb or silly? We are all presented with a chance to build trust by how safely we protect the other person's secret, silly or not, important or not, that is not for us to judge. For you to build a bond of trust with your child, you will need to realize that conversation is very important to them. Can you be a safe place for it?

You’ll be presented with multiple opportunities to build your relationship with your child, alongside the multiple opportunities to miss the chance altogether. You will need to keep your phone down and listen, even if the story is about a lost pencil. You will have to come back from the door and sit down, when they tell you they are in pain from the recent rejection. You will need to listen without judgment or reaction, when they confess to having stolen money from your wallet.

You just have to, this shouldn't be a choice. Every child deserves a marble jar parent, and all it will take is valuing each of those beautiful moments.