Where Are You Dancing, Mr Munir?

Pakistanis have mastered the art of adding a tinge of ignorance to their bragging. Sir, there is a limit to clowning around

We've all been to a circus at some time. Amid the daredevil acts, there's always a clown who does something silly to make us laugh and relieve the tension. You might be wondering why I'm bringing up the circus clown all of a sudden. Well, it was triggered by an act of Pakistan’s army chief General Asim Munir, whose antics reminded me of that very clown. At a time when tariff war is dominating the global stage, he is talking of launching an attack on India from the East!

Frankly, I hesitate to call Munir a clown, because I have great respect even for clowns for the joy they spread. The condition of Munir is like ‘Begani shaadi mein Abdullah diwana’, as the Hindi saying goes. You must have seen some people appear from nowhere and start dancing madly at someone else’s marriage procession. They show as if they are the groom’s closest friends. And as people start throwing money at them, they start believing that they really are the groom's closest friends! Munir's condition is rather similar. But sir, at least realise where you are dancing, for whom you are dancing, and what are you saying; have you no sense at all?

Now, you may object to me addressing him as 'sir'. The reason is, when he spoke of launching an attack from the East, I was reminded of the song from the film 'Purab Aur Paschim': 'Hai preet jahaan ki reet sadaa, mai geet wahaan ke gaata hoon, Bharat ka rehne wala hoon, Bharat ki baat sunaata hoon.' The song further goes: 'Humein pyaar nibhana aata hai...' And since Pakistan is but the offspring of India, why shouldn't we still call its army chief 'sir' out of generosity? If he has gone rogue, that’s his fate. Our nature should still be loving.

But when Munir was bragging about attacking India from the East from American soil, I wondered whether he had forgotten his own old East. That very old East is now called Bangladesh. Mr Munir, you should have remembered that in the 1971 war, despite the US having sent a warship to save you, Indira Gandhi had split Pakistan in two. Our Army made 99,000 of your soldiers surrender. Your Army couldn’t even save its own eastern part, yet you dream of attacking India’s East? Alright, let’s recall Kargil! Musharraf had hatched a devious strategy to break India. But the moment India hit back, Nawaz Sharif prostrated at America’s feet! Mr. Munir, why don’t you flip through the pages of history once in a while? Why make a laughing stock of your own country with antics like a clown?

I have visited Pakistan many times. I often meet Pakistanis abroad and let me say, your people are truly wonderful. Why are you deceiving them? If you must wage a war, fight against your own corruption and ignorance. Fight a war against poverty, so that your people at least get wheat flour, pulses and cooking oil! Spewing venom against India will not improve the lives of the Pakistani people. It is because of the misdeeds of the Pakistani army and the ISI that today, Pakistani patients are not able to come to India for treatment. Will you now send them to America for treatment?

And as for your so-called threat against India’s famed industrialist Mukesh Ambani, I am reminded of an old saying: 'A man should always know his limits.' Before commenting on Mukesh Ambani, you should have taken a good look at your own worth! Moreover, you should have tried to understand who Mukesh Ambani really is? If you haven’t read anything about him, let me enlighten you. At present, Mukesh Ambani’s total wealth is more than Rs 8.5 lakh crore. Now recall Pakistan’s annual budget for 2024-25. It was only about Rs 4.5 lakh crore in Indian rupees. That means Mukesh Ambani alone is worth almost twice the size of your annual budget! We Indians do not see him merely as an individual, we see him as a conglomerate of institutions in himself. We are proud of him. And what do you think, Mr Munir? That your missiles will reach Jamnagar and we will just watch the spectacle? We will hit back in a way you cannot even imagine! Why indulge in such foolish bluster?

Speaking of bluster, I’m reminded of one of your former ministers, Sheikh Rasheed, who once boasted that Pakistan had developed quarter-kilo atomic bombs that could target people identifying them on the basis of their religion! How ignorant of him! Where is he these days, by the way? Anyway, let’s talk about you. This fresh nuclear threat of yours is no different. It is like saying, 'Hum toh dubenge sanam, tumhe bhi le dubenge.' Even though our nuclear arsenal is meant to strengthen peace, you should have looked at the sheer size of India compared to your tiny Pakistan. Even if the worst were to happen, some part of India would still survive... but what about you? 'Tera kya hoga, Kaalia!'

Theauthoristhechairman, EditorialBoardofLokmatMediaandformermemberof RajyaSabha.