Bulawayo, Aug 7 Veteran batter Brendan Taylor said it was incredibly difficult for him to stay away from Zimbabwe's national team after he made a successful comeback to international cricket after four years on Thursday.
Taylor returned to Zimbabwe's XI in the second test against New Zealand after serving a three-and-a-half-year ban for breaching the ICC's anti-corruption code.
"How good is it that three years ago, I couldn't get out of bed and now I am here doing what I love, and that's representing Zimbabwe?" Taylor told the broadcaster in an emotional interview before the first day's play. "Dealing with the sanction, dealing with my own internal chaos - there was not a specific day, there were multiple days of trauma.
"I was in the dark depths in the abyss and trying to just get through this total and incomprehensible demoralisation of life. It was incredibly difficult."
In 2021, Taylor made a sudden retirement from international cricket while in Belfast. Months later, he revealed that he had been targeted by match-fixers who attempted to blackmail him by threatening to expose his cocaine use unless he cooperated. Taylor resisted their demands, retired from the game, and entered rehab when his ban was officially announced in early 2022.
As part of his sanction, Taylor was barred from involvement in any formal cricketing activities. During this period, he established a coaching setup at his home, with aspirations of transitioning into a coaching career once eligible. However, it was Zimbabwe Cricket’s Managing Director, Givemore Makoni, who persuaded him to return to the playing field with an eye on the 2027 World Cup.
Now back in action, Taylor is determined to make the most of his second chance, drawing on years of reflection and renewed purpose.
"There's always that shame and guilt of letting down your family. That's a tough thing to deal with. But the way my family rallied and supported me was overwhelming. It's almost a regret why I didn't lean on them earlier."
"I felt it was something I got myself into and I needed to fix it myself. I thought the dream had gone and I was content with it," Taylor said.
His time at the rehabilitation centre in Zimbabwe’s Eastern Highlands gave him a new outlook on life. He also expressed gratitude to his family, friends, teammates, and everyone at Zimbabwe Cricket for their unwavering support.
"Then came the joys and promises of recovery, something that is very dear to me. Getting my life back on track is the reason why I am able to be here. If I had not made that life changing decision, none of this would have been possible.
"There have been some very important people in my corner, showing me a new way to live and I am eternally grateful for that. There are a few people in Zimbabwe Cricket that I have to thank, especially the chairman and the MD, who have been absolutely pivotal in their support to having me back."
On being handed his 36th Test cap, Taylor said, "Meant the world to me. It was a moment of pure gratitude and real emotion to be welcomed back with open arms," Taylor said. "It was not the reaction I was expecting. But it's certainly a moment of reflection and real gratitude. It's so rewarding to see the amount of cricket Zimbabwe Cricket is putting out there. I have trained harder than I have ever trained in my life to get back there. If performances happen, that's great but there's a much bigger picture here for me to play. It's an honour to play again. It's a debut-like feeling."
Disclaimer: This post has been auto-published from an agency feed without any modifications to the text and has not been reviewed by an editor