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From ‘Kande Pohe’ to Coffee dates: The changing face of arranged meetings

By Lokmat Times Desk | Updated: November 4, 2025 22:00 IST

Chhatrapati Sambhajinagar:A few years ago, a typical arranged marriage meeting looked something like this: the groom-to-be sitting on ...

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Chhatrapati Sambhajinagar:

A few years ago, a typical arranged marriage meeting looked something like this: the groom-to-be sitting on a sofa with his parents, holding a plate of kande pohe and a cup of tea, while the bride-to-be sat nervously on a corner chair. But this scene is fast disappearing. Today, instead of kande pohe at home, young people are meeting over coffee and sandwiches at quiet cafés to decide the future of their relationship. The journey from kande pohe to coffee dates has become a noticeable trend in recent years.

In the past, arranged meetings were held at home with parents asking questions and awkward silence filling the room. Now, the younger generation prefers meeting in a café, restaurant, or garden outside the family setting where they can talk freely. Over a cup of tea or coffee, many are deciding whether they’re ready to build a life together.

From introduction to meeting

Today’s youth say that it feels uncomfortable meeting at home under the watchful eyes of everyone. Meeting outside allows them to talk openly and comfortably. That’s why the traditional kande pohe meeting has now turned into a relaxed coffee date. Often, couples first connect on social media or matrimonial apps and later meet in person at a cozy place to make their decision.

Getting to know each other freely

Priya Kulkarni shared, “My mother had planned a meeting at home, but we convinced our families to let us meet at a café instead. We spoke freely about our likes, hobbies, and families. After that meeting, I just felt "yes, this will work!”

That meeting marked the beginning of their friendship, which later blossomed into marriage. It’s been three years since their wedding.

Meanwhile, Pravin Patil, currently searching for a partner said, “It’s difficult to talk openly in front of everyone at home, but at a café, you can express yourself freely. You really get to know the person before marriage. And even if things don’t work out, you might still walk away with a good friend.”

Parents’ perspective

“In earlier times, it was the parents who went to see the boy or girl, and 90% of the decision rested with them. But now, children are asked first. They’re given the freedom to meet and understand each other. Both have the right to say yes or no. I’ve seen traditions slowly giving way to modern thinking,”

said Mohan Kale, the father of a groom.

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